a friend of mine recently came to me with this problem:
I LIKE THIS GUY && WORD ON THE STREET IS HE LIKES ME TOO. NEITHER OF US HAS ADMITTED TO EACH OTHER THAT THE FEELING IS MUTUAL -- BUT, WHEN WE ARE TOGETHER THE CHEMISTRY IS OBVIOUS. THE PROBLEM IS I DON'T KNOW HOW TO APPROACH HIM. I GET SCARED TO CALL OR TEXT HIM BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY && HE'S YET TO MAKE THE FIRST MOVE. MUTUAL FRIENDS OF OURS SEEM TO TALK ABOUT "THE POSSIBILITY OF US" MORE THAN EITHER OF US && IT'S SUPER FRUSTRATING! WHAT DO I DO??
the solution to this problem can be broken down into a few steps:
1. HAVE CONFIDENCE && MAKE THE FIRST MOVE: one thing i've learned is that even if you don't FEEL confident, if you APPEAR confident you'll get whatever you want. sure, you're terrified to call him first but if you go ahead and do it, with confidence in your voice and your expectations clear, he'll be really impressed. most times, guys are expected to do everything first. they are supposed to approach us, talk to us, call us, ask us out, pay for things... but when a female makes it a point to make the first move the guy can do nothing but be impressed with your will to go after what you want. you don't have to go out of your way to say anything special and you don't have to force conversation because if the feeling is mutual, the conversation will come naturally. if you're sitting there thinking about how nice it would be to just call and chat, then call him up, say hi... ask how his week was. if you're sitting there thinking about how cool it would be if you could hang out later this week, then call him up, let him know you're free thursday && if he's not doing anything there's a show going on that you'd think he'd like or you'd like to get lunch... WHATEVER. if he's busy, fine. don't sound upset [even if you are] and let him know that the offer is open whenever he's available. now, take a deep breath. regardless of the outcome of the conversation you can walk away knowing that you didn't let your fear of embarrassment or rejection overcome your ability to make a first move. the more you practice approaching men with confidence, the better you'll get at it. a man can't reject a female that doesn't second guess herself, a female that isn't scared to go against the norms. confidence is the best sexy.
2. STOP THE HE-SAID/SHE-SAID: you remember high school? so and so said he likes you... yeah, that's bad for business. when you are really trying to get somewhere with someone you have to do it yourself [this is where the confidence comes in again]. you must cut out the "third man" if you want your feelings to come out clear, honest, and untainted. the best way to do this is to make that first move. get over the conversation barrier and when outsiders ask questions, answer them vaguely. other than close friends, no one really needs to know what's going on. when people think they know this or think they heard that the drama begins and all chances for a possible romance are thrown out the door...
now go practice different ways to approach the guy you like && try it out... if you do all the things i've mentioned i guarantee you'll have a date later this week or your nerves will have ceased and calling him will be just as natural as eating... with enough practice you'll be quite the confident, go-gettin lady && guys will be lined up to talk to you.
don't wait to get what you want, go get it yourself... you'll feel better when you do!
love.sex.knowledge
missdig.!
